2nd Embryo Transfer.

The last time I left off, I had my 2nd fibroid surgery. Two weeks ago, I visited my RE Doctor for a hysteroscopy. Can I tell you how nervous I was in the lobby waiting for this procedure? ANXIOUS, TO SAY THE LEAST! I tried deep breathing, listening to music, and watching the tv in the lobby. Nothing worked. My blood pressure was at 158/96! My blood pressure has never been that high in my life. I had to explain to the staff that visiting this office is triggering and makes me tremendously anxious.

Finally, I received the hysteroscopy and was relieved to have been given good news. I haven’t received any good news regarding my health and IVF in months! I felt like I was finally winning. I was finally getting the answer that I wanted. He confirmed that my uterus has healed, and we can continue with a 2nd embryo Transfer in June. He reassured me by letting me see the screen.

Damn, that was a fine uterus.

Today is April 14th, and I have started my birth control! I have received my IVF calendar and signed all of my consent forms. Today is the first day it officially feels like IVF is here! Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for something to go wrong because if there is anything I know about IVF, it isn’t promised, and maybe I have too much trauma to even have a thought like this.

So in preparation for my next embryo transfer, I am:

1. Completing 5 rounds of iron infusion since I am anemic (today was my first session).
2. Taking my supplements, including Prenatals, Omega 3 with DHA, Vitamin D with K2, Magnesium, and Inositol.
3. Start acupuncture at a community facility that charges a sliding scale of $20-$50 to help regulate my hormones and help with anxiety.
4. Eating a healthy whole balanced vegetarian diet. I have removed all artificial meat from my diet (I enjoyed eating those fake chicken nuggets!) Increasing my fiber and protein intake and ensuring I have a vegetable at every meal.
5. Exercising as many times a week as possible and walking multiple times a day without pushing myself.
6. Consuming a gallon of water daily.
7. Attending therapy for myself and marriage therapy so my Husband and I learn how to support each other with IVF after loss.
8. Meditation, affirmations, and tapping.
9. Cut off all alcohol for the last 3 months.

I create this list because I want to return and show myself all the hard work I put into this cycle. So I don’t ever blame myself for what I didn’t do.

I need to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can with the information I have. I have been picking up bits and pieces of information from other IVF Mamas, but I’m also implementing many things I did for my first transfer; the only difference is that I am dealing with anxiety, grief, and trauma this time.

I now know the many things that can go wrong during a cycle. I suppress these thoughts to ensure I have the right mindset.

I deserve this IVF cycle to work; I deserve a healthy pregnancy and our living baby in our arms. My Husband deserves to have his child. We want this so bad, and if I can make any change to increase our chances of implantation, I will do anything it takes.

The next step is our baseline ultrasound in 3 weeks.

Wish us luck on our 2nd embryo transfer.