Managing Mother’s Day after pregnancy loss

If you’re anxious about managing Mother’s Day after pregnancy loss, you’re not alone. I’m anxious AF! This will be my first year celebrating Mother’s day without my daughter. Let’s be honest about how we feel with this holiday approaching. I’m furious that she’s not here with us. I wouldn’t want anything more than to celebrate this day with her.

But we will get through this; we have no choice, right? We’ll wake up the following Monday and say, damn, I did that shit!!!

There are two ways we can celebrate Mother’s day after our loss. We can honor our children by celebrating ourselves as their Mother. Or we can try to pretend this holiday doesn’t exist. Unfortunately, marketing is over exaggerated for Mother’s Day. It’s hard to hide from it unless you become Patrick and live under a rock in the Bikini Bottom.

Will I wake up and cry most of the day because I’m upset that my daughter isn’t here? Yes

Will I be jealous of all the Mothers sharing this day with their living children at restaurants/parks, etc? Yes

Will I wish that Social Media crashes for the day, so we won’t see anyone post pictures about their Moms? Hell Yes!

But what I also will do is honor myself. I’m a Mother! I’m strong! I’m worthy, and I deserve to be celebrated after all the trauma I’ve endured. 

Bring it on Mother’s day!

Here are some ways you can celebrate yourselves and your mental health. You can try these ideas that don’t require you to be around the Mother’s Day crowd.

1. PAINT AND SIP AT HOME – I recently went to the dollar store and found these stenciled in canvases. They also sell paint and brushes. Buy yourself some wine or chilled iced tea and begin painting!

2. Get together with other Mothers in our pregnancy/miscarriage loss community. They know precisely how you’re feeling, and you won’t be judged for those feelings. 

3. Try some 18+ activities that families usually won’t be attending; 

• Axe throwing, 
• A smash room (my personal favorite), 
• The casino
• Couples only cooking class 
• Brewery or wine tour
• This one is intense, but SKY DIVING?????

4. Take a fitness or dance class.

I want to share two methods that will be helpful this weekend. 

1. Notice-Shift-Rewire.

Notice the negative thought in your brain.

Then shift to a moment of gratitude or an item; for example, pick up a pen, say aloud how the pen feels, what material is it made of? What color is it? Is it long or short? etc. Keep these thoughts for 15 seconds, and that’s all you need to rewire your brain. I will touch more on this method in the future. Here is some information in the meantime.

      2. If any plans are made for you, make sure you can escape at any time. Don’t feel trapped. Feel free to share with your family some tips on how to help you during this time. “7 ways to support during grief”

My beautiful Mothers, you will get through this. If you find yourself having a difficult time and want to express yourself, please contact me here. I’m here to help.